I Pronounced you, Husband and Waifu (Pt 1)

A Short Story

Look at him smile, I thought to myself. In the years that I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him look so.. Happy. And in that moment, I realized that, I’ve always been in love with this man, and I would do anything for his happiness.

Including the crazy adventure we just had, that brought us here. Right here, on this ship, heading out to God knows where, with this beautiful sunrise behind us, and with that radiant smile on his face.

Let me tell you the story of how we got here, which started a little over six months ago.

“I don’t know what happened ! I was just getting back from work, and I found her like that !” Jimmy was yelling on the phone while pacing back and fourth in the living room, “No. No. DONT PUT ME ON HOL- FUCK.” He looked. frustrated.

“Goddammit, they put me on hold again, it’s been like this for almost an hour.” He said, finally sitting down, next to motionless Rose. His beloved Rose. He held its hand with one hand, and his phone with another.

I looked at him, and smiled. “Jimmy, give me your phone, let me talk to them, your yelling is not going to make anything easier. Breathe, okay ?” Gently, I rubbed his arm, and he hand me over his phone.

“Thanks, Nat. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

Not long after, the line went back on, and I explained the situation to the customer service representative, and I insisted that this was an emergency. They agreed to send tech support within 2 hours. Jimmy let out a long sigh of relief after I told him that, but I knew he was still panicking.

I’ve known Jimmy forever now. We came from the same small town and went to the same school and college. After graduation, I decided to move out here, and he followed me, as he said he didn’t really know what do to next. We were roommates for a while back when we were broke graduates with minimum wage jobs, and now that we have steady, decent paying jobs, we’re neighbors.

You might think that at some point we might’ve gotten together, but it’s not like that. I’ve always considered Jimmy like a little brother. Impulsive, panicky Jimmy, with his crazy ideas..

When they start selling these androids, Jimmy was one of the first one to buy them. He was ecstatic to have it, these advanced androids that mimics life which you almost can’t tell apart with real humans from the outside, each programmed with advanced emotional response, cognitive thinking and a personality suited to the owner. Their algorithm even allows them to do mistakes sometimes, to make them more human. And the company claimed every android is custom made, with one of a kind personality and appearance. No two android will ever look the same.

Jimmy named his android, Rose, after the first girl who broke his heart back in high school. Needless to say, things got somewhat out of hand. People started to get too comfortable with their androids, and they started having feelings for them. Romantic feelings. I cannot really blame them, as real romance are in scarcity these days, with all the convenience from those dating apps. Having a lifelike android with a personality that matches you, with attractive appearances.. Well I understand why people fall in love with their android. I remember the night Jimmy told me he’s in love with Rose. I almost laughed, but I knew that look on his face. I’ve seen them before, every time he’s fallen with a girl in the past.

It’s been two years since that night, and Jimmy was happy. I was also happy for him, a bit worried too, but I just never had the heart to knock some sense into him. It’s not like they’re hurting anyone, and more and more people were doing it.

And tonight, I was just getting back from work, when Jimmy was already waiting for me in front my door. He was confused and crying. Said he went home to find Rose motionless on the floor.

“Mr. Westerfield ?” The technician called Jimmy. “We’ve finished with our diagnosis, and it seems like your android has suffered a fatal error. We cannot reboot it, but fortunately we are able to save its hard drive. And you are still covered with the 5 years warranty, so what we’ll do is we will arrange for you to get a replacement unit, it should be delivered here within 2 weeks.”

Jimmy is not satisfied with his explanation, “Try again, please..”

“We apologize sir, but we have tried everything. Your new unit will be the exact same of your current unit. We will upload everything to it, and you wont see any difference. Once you received and activated it, it will operate as if this error never happened.”

“How did this happen ? What is wrong with her ?”

“Well, we are sorry that we cannot give you any further explanation as our resources that we brought with us here are limited. We will take old unit to our lab and do some further diagnostics, and we will update you as soon as we have a definite answer.”

“Wait.. You’re gonna take her ? Can she stay here until the replacement gets delivered ? Maybe something will happen and she can reboot herself.” I see fear in Jimmy’s eyes.

“We cannot give you a replacement unless we take the broken unit with us, sir.”

I said to Jimmy, “Hey, just do what the man says.. It’s gonna be okay..”

He looked hesitant, but finally “Alrght. Yes. Okay, do what you have to do.” said Jimmy to the technician.

“Very well sir, if you could just sign here and here..”

Three weeks has passed, and after another episodes of Jimmy yelling to some unfortunate customer service rep, it finally came. Jimmy even took a day off from work. He said he needed to be home, so he can receive the replacement unit in person.

It got delivered a little after the afternoon, but Jimmy couldn’t find it in him to open the box, let alone activating his “Replacement Rose.” He called me, hounded me when will I back from work, and if I could go earlier so I could be there with him for the activation.

“Well, it looks exactly as your old one, Jimmy” I said as I opened the box. “Let’s see.. It says here that it is fully charged, and it needs your fingerprint or password to turn it on” Jimmy looks hesitant. “You want me to do it for you ?”

“No, no. It’s okay.” Said Jimmy. He walked over and push his thumb against the back of New Rose’s neck.

He walked back, waiting for a reaction.

A few seconds later, it opened its eyes, looked to Jimmy, and smiled, as nothing happened these past three weeks.

“Hey baby !”

To be continued.. (Click for the Part 2)